The Last Emperor

With the upcoming presidential election in 2012, Evil Spock is getting excited about ascending to the White House. As you can see above (thanks Dr. Zaius), Evil Spock's mother and eunuchs have invested a lot time and money grooming Evil Spock for the title Supreme Dictator of the United States of America.

Ever since Evil Spock announced Evil Spock's candidacy back in February, Evil Spock has witnessed some positive momentum towards 2012. "The Needs of the Few" is averaging a good amount of viewers per day, a loyal and rabid audience regularly comment, and Evil Spock's Technorati Authority has gone up a few points.

Unfortunately, that isn't enough. The Few need to work on making Evil Spock more famous. There are a number of you out there extolling Evil Spock's greatness to the masses, and Evil Spock appreciates this. But there are fans, and then there are Superfans. Evil Spock has some suggestions on how The Few can be better zealots, and inspire others with Evil Spock's message of egg-covered transvestite panda pornography.

1. You can start a chain e-mail! Here's one Evil Spock modified from MoveOn.org. Feel free to cut and paste, Evil Spock did!

Subject: Join me in becoming an acolyte for Evil Spock!

I hope you'll join me and millions of others in the most exciting grassroots movement on the Internet: Evil Spock's Presidential Run for 2012.

Evil Spock gives people a voice in shaping the laws & policies that affect our lives. You can read on timely issues like responding to weaponized insects, sexbot industry, and campaign finance reform, or you can just sign up to receive email alerts, all for free.

One of the best things about Evil Spock, is that each of us can help decide what issues Evil Spock stands for, using the unique comment sections. Everyone can post suggestions, and everyone can rate all the other suggestions. Those that please Evil Spock the most can become the focus of The Few's action campaigns.

It's a promising idea: choose our priorities collectively, then act on them collectively. The Few's founder, Evil Spock, calls it "magic interweb thingee".

I hope you'll join us today at: http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com

We can all take part in choosing and creating our future shaped by Evil Spock. Thank you!

Please send this to five of your friends and receive a great reward! If you don't, than you'll contract herpes.

2. You can canvass door-to-door! When Evil Spock switched sides to the Godzilla-empowered Dems, Evil Spock went canvassing for Democrats running for office. Its quite effective, and a good change of pace from being glued to the computer screen, anxiously awaiting Evil Spock's next exciting blog. Here's some old pamphlet covers Evil Spock had lying around that The Few can give to their neighbors:

Just scribble the chain e-mail to the back of them or something.

3. You can produce your own sexy video promoting Evil Spock's candidacy, just like the one Obama Girl did for Obama's 2008 campaign! Watch it below!


If you're going to go this route, please ask The Pipettes to perform Evil Spock's campaign song. They're the prettiest girls Evil Spock has ever met.

4. Last but not least, you can affix these cool campaign buttons to your blogs/websites! Just copy and paste the html code to your respective sites!

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_4k2EisZQ_VU/RdfxW7GHIVI/AAAAAAAAAbg/ME9ydhA2tU8/s320/esth2012.gif" alt="" border="0" />



<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_4k2EisZQ_VU/RnLEqZ8gUYI/AAAAAAAAA4k/vynbf6HSrEU/s320/supportus.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076335962798182786" border="0" />



<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_4k2EisZQ_VU/RnLCtp8gUWI/AAAAAAAAA4U/xBfTWUA8gJo/s320/clipperswin.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076333819609502050" border="0" />



<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_4k2EisZQ_VU/RnLCtp8gUXI/AAAAAAAAA4c/V3whLD3uWVE/s320/gayfriendly.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076333819609502066" border="0" />

UPDATE: Something a little less garish for the inconspicuous:



<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://theneedsofthefew.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_4k2EisZQ_VU/RnLJCZ8gUaI/AAAAAAAAA40/pP7oBpEsTJE/s320/evilbutton.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5076340773161554338" border="0" />

Evil Spock has given you the tools to spread the gospel of Evil Spock. When Evil Spock becomes POTUS in 2012, Evil Spock will remember each and every one of The Few, and you'll be rewarded with quick, painless deaths treasures beyond your wildest dreams!

Evil Spock out!