On more than one occasion, Evil Spock's sexual orientation has been called into question due to Evil Spock's narcissistic behaviors. Just because Evil Spock likes to be well-groomed and moisturizes like there's no tomorrow, that doesn't make Evil Spock a homosexual.
Not that Evil Spock would be bothered if Evil Spock was a homosexual, because there are many inherent benefits to being gay. Like doubling one's wardrobe by sharing your partner's clothing, or being able to watch sports and have sex at halftime.
But sorry to disappoint Evil Spock's gay fans, but Evil Spock is straight. The only male Evil Spock has ever been attracted to is Evil Spock, and until Evil Spock can clone Evil Spock's self, Evil Spock won't be switching teams in the foreseeable future.
In actuality, all that working out, watching Evil Spock's diet, and throat scrapings isn't to attract the opposite sex. Evil Spock rigorous beautification treatments are to prepare for Evil Spock's POTUS run in 2012.
Image is everything, especially to Evil Spock, so instead of doing Evil Spock's homework and focusing on the issues, Evil Spock will charm the voting populace with Evil Spock's dashing good looks and a well manicured handshake. In the golden age of American Idol and Paris Hilton, Evil Spock realizes that flash wins over substance. Anyway, while Evil Spock regales dignitaries and prostitutes both foreign and domestic, the more homely Collective will be behind the scenes working on the boring stuff like Social Security and Israel.
There are pratfalls to being gorgeous though. Staying this pretty all the time is very exhausting for Evil Spock. The Few doesn't realize how much Evil Spock's face aches from smiling all day. Evil Spock has also strained Evil Spock's winking muscles to the point that Evil Spock can only wink a few times a day without duress. Not to mention the materials spent on Evil Spock's beauty and longevity treatments are depleting the Amazon rain forests. That's not going to play well to the granola munching, stinky, dread-locked hippie environmentalists.
Perhaps its time to get back to the basics. Only going with the bare necessities if you will. Instead of spending time and money on hair products, chemical baths, and leeches, Evil Spock will just simply go as Evil Spock is, and let Evil Spock's inner beauty shine more brightly than Evil Spock's outer appearance. Or maybe Evil Spock should just invest in a Yogi Bear suit.
Some of The Few may remember voting for a anthropomorphic costume for Evil Spock to wear to attract Furries to the blog. Yogi Bear won out, so Evil Spock along with Evil Spock's friends from Georgetown Tales hit the town last month to gauge what kind of reaction Evil Spock would solicit dressed as The Few's favorite ursine character.
El Capitan and GeorgeConstanza'sNumberOneFan followed Evil Spock around like paparazzi/bodyguards, as Evil Spock and gang hit a couple of bear themed bars (Yogi's and Bear's Place), a rooftop party, and some other favorite locales. The reaction Yogi Bear got was overwhelming. People were buying Evil Spock drinks as if Evil Spock was a pretty blonde with a brand new boob job. The attention and liquor was quite intoxicating for Evil Spock.
Clockwise from top-left: El Capitan and GeorgeConstanza'sNumberOneFan hanging with Evil Spock, Yogi's Bar and Grill, Bear's Place, Placating the fans. For more pictures visit Evil Spock's Flickr site.
The next morning, Evil Spock came to the realization that everyone was so focused on Yogi's looks, that they ignored Evil Spock's looks inside of said Yogi. Evil Spock realized that beauty is only fur-deep; its whats inside Yogi that counts. Since that night, Evil Spock has become more superficial and beautiful, so much so Evil Spock almost drowned trying to make out with Evil Spock's image in a pool of water.
Evil Spock is glad to have Evil Spock's priorities straight again.
Evil Spock out!
30 are elated to see Evil Spock back!:
I can certainly tell that you are straight by the picture of you with the chick in the red top. looks like you are looking down her top there. naughty naughty!
Evil Spock and John Edwards have the same attitude towards personal grooming. I wonder, though, has Evil Spock indulged in the $150 hair styles and pedicures like the Breck Boy of the Presidential Race? Curious penguins want to know!
- Badtux the Curious Penguin
I noticed that about the chick-in-red-top-pic too, hehee. You purv you! Is that the only reason you wore the suit around?? :) just kidding. I know it's really because on the inside you are still only 10 years old. It's all good.
I think Evil Spock is Mike Greenburg's twin. You know, Greeny from Mike and Mike on ESPN.
Bear's Place!
Homesick.
I feel that Evil Spock should maintain the high-level outer appearance as I don't believe "inner beauty" is going to cut it.
Did they have any real bears at Bear's?
liberality: Believe it or not, I saw very little in the costume. If it wasn't for my entourage, I wouldn't have had any idea where I was at. This was especially true once the alcohol took its toll.
badtux: Evil Spock has never spent that much money on a haircut. Evil Spock has to save said money for weekly colonics . . .
k*funk: Much like Batman, Evil Spock is stuck at ten years old parading in a Halloween costume.
mathman: To prove Evil Spock's hetero-ness, yes, Evil Spock is quite aware of the Mike and Mike show.
dcup: Bloomington is where the heart is kiddo.
chekov: Nope, no "real" bears to speak of. Evil Spock has learned to play dead per Kids in the Hall when a real bear approaches.
You're straight? GKL only has one, stereotypical response: prove it!
i missed your deadline. but since I'm confused, who cares:
1. where are you? georgetown? that's DC, I thought you were midwest. i probably missed something somewhere here.
2. i forgot the next question.
3. i didn't vote for that costume. i don't like it. This is why democracy doesn't work that well for me.
YAY! I voted for Yogi.
I never accused you of being gay, you're more of a tween girl.
You only out the ones you love.
Evil Spock I don't know what to ask as I already know the vital answer to my query "Do you have a loachery...?!?"
... hey do you like my portrait, but~?!?
Well...I hope a good time was had by all. Did it get hot in the Yogi suit? Bet, even if you were to sweat like a belly dancer you'd smell marvelous.
kristilove: What is this, some kind of Spanish Inquisition?!? Evil Spock wasn't expecting that . . .
andrée: You shoulda gathered your forces and stuffed the ballot box. Evil Spock will answer your question this week.
nick: You may not have, but others have.
dr mvm: No one's getting outed!
gledwood: That's adorable!
sumo: Oh yes, it was hot. Took off the costume multiple times as the boys from Georgetown Tales guarded it.
I did smell nice!
I want to be your Boo Boo! hahah
Hell, I will vote for you. And really, how do you think you would ever compete with Yogi? He's such a stud!
Dressed as a bear? Stephan Colbert will never have you on his TV show now!
This post is past its expiration date. Time for a new one. Stop letting us down.
After the election, could I have LA? Imagine all the weirdos I could sell out on my blogg. That'd be goooood.
loved the costume! but I was just wondering if you needed me to send more questions because you are taking your sweet ass time about this whole answering my questions thing...
Dur....why am I too lazy and/or stupid to email my questions to Evil Spock, despite the numerous deadline extensions?
Dude, thanks for clearing that up. Happy cloning!
LOL, as the saying goes, "Not that there's anything wrong with it!"
Love the Yogi outfit.
As Sideshow Bob says, am I so lazy I can't e-mail a question to Evil Spock? The answer is yes, I probably am. But I may come up with one yet!
i just laughed so hard, i think i pee'd a little.
"Evil Spock almost drowned trying to make out with Evil Spock's image in a pool of water"
On the contrary, many of us hippie environmentalists would be happy for a pretty candidate. But not in a Yogi suit, even if he is smarter than the average bear.
jlee: Evil Spock is not accepting applications at the moment, but if you want to send Evil Spock some head shots, contact Evil Spock's secretary.
cindra: Yogi is pretty cool, but Evil Spock is no slouch either!
dr z: Colbert will be lucky if Evil Spock interviews him!
chekov: Evil Spock wrote today!
choochoo: No, you get Boise, Idaho. Potato capital of the world.
pineapple: Stop making me feel guilty! Will post it tomorrow.
ssb: You are worse than Hitler.
mad: The clones are all born headless right now. The crimes against nature are mounting . . .
mauigirl: You are worster than Stalin. You and Bob should get together and discuss your worsterness.
supergirlest: Evil Spock is not responsible for you ruining your pants.
cs: Evil Spock is the prettiest candidate you'll ever find.
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