Since Evil Spock carries mostly plastic, i.e. credit cards, Evil Spock could technically launder Evil Spock's wallet over and over again. Unfortunately, Evil Spock does carry cash around on occasion, and its always a hassle to hang the bills on the clothesline outside.
When Evil Spock becomes POTUS in 2012, Evil Spock is contemplating stopping the printing of currency and the minting of coins altogether. Not only will Evil Spock piss off numismatists, who Evil Spock despises almost as much as hippies, Evil Spock believes that it will invigorate the US economy, since people are less likely to keep track of purchases when they shop with their American Express. With the recent change in bankruptcy laws, Evil Spock sees it as a win-win for the creditors, and perhaps they will see fit to forgive all of Evil Spock's debts when Evil Spock ascends to the White House. Evil Spock will be damned if collection agencies tie up all of Evil Spock's presidential telephones.
Anyway, Evil Spock finds the idea of paper money and coins very archaic. Practically everyone takes plastic at this point, except for maybe street performers and strippers. (Word of caution, even though the strip club might advertise Visa/Mastercard accepted, do not try to swipe your cards between their cleavage or ass cracks to tip your dancers. They do NOT like that.)The only other thing Evil Spock can imagine real-life currency is good for, is to fill up money bins to go swimming. Evil Spock guesses Evil Spock can swim in swimming pools filled with Dom Pérignon instead.For those who will miss carrying around currency, there are organizations willing to fill that void. National Organization for the Repeal of the Federal Reserve and Internal Revenue Codes (NORFED)are printing currency. They call it the Liberty Dollar. Some even have the likeness of Republican fringe candidate Ron Paul on them. Unfortunately those no-fun agents at the Federal Bureau of Investigations, or the FBI (not to be confused with the esteemed organization The Federal Breast Inspectors), recently raided their Evansville headquarters in Indiana. The government accuses the Liberty Dollar as an attempt to destabilize the Federal Reserves and undermine the US economy. If thats the case, Evil Spock thinks the FBI should investigate the current administration and how the war in Iraq has screwed up the economy.
If they're going to place a candidate on their currency, they may as well go for a viable one. Evil Spock in 2012.Evil Spock out!
40 are elated to see Evil Spock back!:
Alright there Evil!
You are lucky you don't have American Citizens' Identity Cards (yet)... our useless New Labour Government keeps threatening to introduce such "measures" as well as wanting to lock up suspected terrorists for 58 days without charge whereas America only locks 'em up for 4... actually this is totally irrelevant to your post but I'm so fed up with our idiot government... I'm just hoping if and when they DO come out our totally crappo ID cards will utterly dissolve to nothingness in said wash... just another useless piece of burdensome plastic...
I found a £5 note that had been through the wash last week - half the ink had gone and I thought it was a forgery. Everyone else thought it was real. So I swapped it. Hahaha!
maybe they can just do away with paper currency completely and put all our private info, finances, medical history, criminal history, etc. on a microchip and embed it within our bodies and monitor our every step from space (okay, call me paranoid)
I kinda like the idea of scrooge mcduckin'...but Evil Spock's idea is brilliant nonetheless. It would help in solving the crystal meth crisis.
Damn...how's Evil Spock gonna afford his first date with huckdoll now? The Chuck E Cheese Bux were what won her over in the first place.
Good tip about strippers and credit cards. I won't ask how you know this.
It's Evil Spock and not money that makes the world go 'round.
gledwood: Your swapping of said washed note takes money laundering to so many other levels.
raffi: Just as long as those microchips are compatible with Evil Spock's nanobots Evil Spock will inject into everyone, than Evil Spock will be okay with that. Oh, and it needs to work on Linux too.
huckdoll: Evil Spock will rent out an entire Chuck E. Cheese for an hour for the esteemed Huckdoll!
mad: Trial and error of course! Also, don't stick quarters where you would think quarters should go logically on a stripper. They really hate that.
dr mvm: The best things in life are free,
But you can give it to the birds an' bees!
You need some Evil Spock, thats what The Few wants!
Ummm...wouldn't you want to have to retake the examination for the Federal Breast Inspector's card?
and I've gotten rid of all of my plastic. I guess I will be homeless. What an evil thing you are planning to do to your pokopo...
when you are POTUS can you do a signing statement that requires George W Bush to be put on every sheet of toilet paper manufactured?
or he can alternate with Laura
I imagine Evil Spock, on Evil Spock's first night in the White House. He's in the Lincoln Bedroom, sprawled out on the bed, as a stripper throws large-demonitation bills on him. He rolls around in the cash until he is fatigued; then he and the stripper collect all the money, take it out into the lawn, and burn it, while dancing around the fire like pagans.
Snort! Federal Breast Inspectors! I think that's a license my husband would like to have...
I do like the idea of no currency. Especially coins. They're so annoying the way they pile up in my purse and make it so heavy I now have problems with my shoulder from carrying it! I'm a plastic user from way back so the less cash the better as far as I'm concerned!
Great Plan. Sounds like a evil conspiracy to track everyday activities of your future citizens.
Cash is dirty and anonymous! How will those "special" deeds be accomplished?
sideshow bob: You would think, but having to do the written and oral over again is a bit of a pain.
Actually, the oral part ain't so bad.
pokopo: Since you are a princess of Pokopo Island, land of Pineapples, you have diplomatic immunity like the guy from Lethal Weapon II. You will be allowed to carry currency.
dcap: Thats a good idea. Evil Spock likes the idea of Condi enemas and Cheney douches too.
mark: That's what I did for my birthday!
mauigirl: Yet another reason not to carry currency! It would save bundles on Evil Spock's National Healthcare Plan!
nick: Cash is dirty. Good thing Evil Spock launders Evil Spock's money every so often.
As stalkerish (some may call it stalking, I call it love) as I may seem to Evil Spock, I forgot to subscribe to comments - almost as good as Evil Spock's thoughts.
Evil Spock might see a bit of a dip in his stats now...
good because there is nothing I like better than a two dollar bill.
My video store is non computerized. I also take only cash or checks. I've seen those movies where the evil villain makes all the information disappear from the good guys bank accounts. When the lights go out, I will be rolling in my cash like a viking on shore leave!
evil spock does his own laundry?? how evil of you.
Hey! I know one of those Breast Inspector's too! What a coincidence...there seems to be a lot of them walking around.
I think we should use Monopoly money. It would be such fun.
Inspectors...not Inspector's. duh
huckdoll: Evil Spock likes Evil Spock's fans rabid, thats why Evil Spock is working on a strain of rabies that won't kill you. Keep stalking!
pokopo: But it doesn't even work in vending machines!
mr. dandy: You want to at least convert most of it into change so you can swim in it.
mindy: Well, not really. But when Evil Spock does do laundry, Evil Spock usually fucks something up.
jlee: No one lets Evil Spock cop a feel without it! It sucks!!!
see, i've always thought it would be really cool if there would be an animal printed on our currency. printing people's likenesses is SO passe.
like, we could put a kitten on a half dollar. oh! and maybe a gerbil or something on a penny!
Funny thing, I got one of these and some of those as tokens at Uncle Dave's Funtime Skee Ball Pizzarama. strangely enough, I also got one of these and a few of these as well. Are those just misprints?
BTW - Please update the twitter module. The natives are getting restless.
That is crazy that the Fed cares about this. It makes you wonder how shaky things really are. Next thing they'll go after the people selling those decorative plates on day-time TV.
Welcome back - GKL missed Evil Spock! Also, even the street vendors in Mexico take Visa.
Maybe if Evil SPock stopped carrying such ridiculous things in his wallet, it woudn't be karmically drawn to the washing machine?
Some countries already have plastic money. When Jazz, Mr. Jazz and I stopped off in Bangkok on our way back from Nepal, we got some of their currency. It seemed to be made of some kind of paperish thin plastic. So all you have to do is get Thai money.
Evil Spock can you tell 7 odd things about your Evil Spockness?
It's a tag!!
;->...
supergirlest: Evil Spock would want to put superheroes on them. But they can go on one side, the other side can be a gerbil.
dr z: For you dear doctor, Evil Spock updated the twitter.
el capitan!: Nooooo! If they do that, Evil Spock won't be able to get Bea Arthur to complete Evil Spock's Golden Girls set!
getkristilove: The one with no legs and putts around on a skateboard takes Discover.
cs: The License to Ogle is a serious piece of identification!
big bro: So send Evil Spock to Thailand! One night in Bangkok . . .
gledwood: Evil Spock has done this tag before, plus Evil Spock's Ask Evil Spock blogs should take care of that.
Mustn't reveal too much too fast. Leaving the audience wanting more is very pertinent.
I just want to go back to the bartering system. What have you to offer?
Ok, so I've finished The Needs of the Few in it's entirety...what now?
Huckdoll's Things That Are Dope bloggers aren't putting out as much like she likes...and ES is the worst offender. Sad.
So, what would be on the backside of an Evil Spock coin?
I think we should switch to Itchy & Scratchy dollars.
I once put a pen in the pocket of my favorite pants. That didn't have a happy ending...
Sadly, we at Some of Nothing have already started campaigning for Mr. Spock for President. This was before we knew Evil Spock was running (and well before we knew your stance on currency elimination). Sadly, we still cannot endorse Evil Spock for fear of being seen as flip-floppers. Would you be so kind as to merge dimensions for us so that we can support both of you?
Oh, just admit it. Evil Spock likes the Federal Breast Inspector's exam. He's probably failed it twice on purpose.
Time for a new post, Evil Spock. It's been 11 days. Ape does live by bread alone, but by the word of Evil SPock.
Talking of laundry and money etc... best place to launder £££/$$$/etc around here is in la manche ("the sleeve - the english channel!) at JERSEY... far better than old SOCKS - har har!
cindra: Evil Spock offers you Evil Spock's improbable Scrabble skills.
huckdoll: You read all of The Needs of the Few?!? Evil Spoc isn't sure if Evil Spock is flattered or scared.
jill: Evil Spock proposes the back of Evil Spock's head. Oh, and the exam for the FBI is extra hard, especially the wet t-shirt competition.
sideshow bob: But those aren't even good at most of the booths at Itchy & Scratchy Land!
choochoo: That ain't good, that ain't good at all.
slag: Once Evil Spock kills the good doppleganger of Evil Spock, there won't be any need to mess with the fabric of reality, and you will get one Spock, but with 10% more evil!
dr z: Your loyalty will be talked about for ages to come. Wrote today.
gledwood: Um, Evil Spock does the laundry at the domicile. Thanks for the info though.
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